And if you missed the Stupid Story of the Day...

Provided by Morning Paper Subscriber Elizabeth from Merced.

A 15-year-old boy in Illinois didn't want police to take a Micro-soft stance on crime.  The teen called 911 to complain his parents took away his Xbox.  The boy hung up on the operator, but authorities traced the call and an officer was dispatched to the boy's home, where he asked whether his parents had the right to remove his game system.  The officer told the boy he had to listen to his parents.

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STUPIDITY FROM THE PAST

Police charged 46-year-old Postal worker in Iowa with public intoxication after they found her drunk on the kitchen floor of a 95-year-old woman's house eating noodles she'd found in the refrigerator.  Authorities say the woman managed to get into the home because the front door was unlocked.  She was in her uniform and had her mail bag with her as well.  The worker, who's been with the post office for 17 years, was placed on unpaid leave.

Fourteen people who recently got stuck upside down on a Ferris wheel in Germany each received a bill for 420 dollars after emergency workers had to save them.  The operator of the Star Gate ride will not pay because his staff didn't call for help and he was confident employees could've rescued the people, who were stuck upside down 50 feet in the air. A spokesman for the fire department said passengers can either file a claim with their insurance companies or sue the ride's operator.

Anthony Carrazco may want to get out of sales.  The 19-year-old Carrazco was arrested recently in Brownsville, Texas after he went to a police officer's house while he was going door-to-door in the middle of the night selling marijuana.  The cop quickly flashed his badge and cuffed Carrazco, who was -- surprise! -- drunk at the time.

Cheng Saelee, a 27-year-old man from Alaska was recently convicted of robbing his mother at gunpoint after she refused to kick in any money to help him pay a 430 dollar parking ticket.  Saelee was also convicted of illegally contacting his mother from jail and attempting to get her to drop the charges.  Saelee was also arrested last year after he got into an argument with his parents and wound up pointing a gun in his mother's face.

You could say Shanae Harston was busted while water-breaking into a house.  The pregnant 19-year-old was arrested on suspicion of burglary just minutes before she went into labor.  Authorities in Vallejo, California saw Harston walking out of a home towards a car that had been spotted near the site of other reported robberies.  As cops arrested Harston, she began having contractions.  She was taken to hospital, delivered a baby and then was released, pending prosecution.

A man in Peru went to the hospital after he put the final nail in his coughing.  Doctors in the city of Cajamarca recently removed one-and-a-half pounds of metal from a man's stomach.  Requelme Abanto's tummy was filled with such goodies as nails, coins, rusted copper wire and scrap metal.  The 26-year-old construction worker says he's been eating metal for months and he may keep at it, quote, "as sport."  Abanto's cuisine of choice, however, has forced doctors to conduct psychological tests on him while he recovers.

You could say a burglar in Alabama escaped by the skin of his teeth, but that wouldn't be quite right.  A couple fought off a man who broke into their home and bit off part of his nose in the process.  The suspect was able to escape with 100 dollars, but the tip of his nose remained in the house.  Police are looking for the man, and say they haven't yet heard of anyone going to a hospital to treat a chewed nose.

A burglar in Australia was more concerned with shuteye than a shut door.  The 35-year-old man fell asleep while trying to pick a lock outside a mall.  Police say they found him asleep with a lockpick wire in his hands.  The man was also carrying keys to a car parked nearby that was filled with prescription drugs taken from a pharmacy that had been robbed earlier in the day.  A police spokesman said, quote, "He obviously had a long night, whatever he was doing, and that got the better of him."

Samuel Botchvaroff should really get out of the auto theft business.  Police in Vallejo, CA arrested the 24-year-old man after he stole a car so he could go to court to make an appearance in another case where he's -- surprise! -- accused of stealing a car.  Cops busted him in a Range Rover after he was about to leave the courthouse.  He claimed he took the vehicle because his car had been towed and he had no other way to make his arraignment.

A Wisconsin man charged with a drive-by shooting should also be charged with first-degree stupidity.  Police say he forgot to roll down his car window before firing his gun.  Andrew Burwitz allegedly fired at the home of his ex-girlfriend's family.  No one was hurt, but the residents were awakened by the sound of breaking glass.  When police found broken auto glass in the street, they contacted repair shops in the area and learned Burwitz had gotten a broken car window replaced after filing an insurance claim.

An Idaho woman has pleaded guilty to a road rage incident in which she rammed her pickup into another car and tossed ranch dressing at the driver.  The Idaho Statesman reports 18-year-old Tiffany Wallace was arrested June 1st after police say she used her truck to ram a car at least four times.  The other driver told investigators the road rage incident began when he was cut off by Wallace.  The driver said Wallace also screamed at him, threw coins and tossed containers of ranch dressing at his car.

A teenager in El Dorado Hills learned a lesson about not believing everything you hear.  A student at Oak Ridge High School watched his Algebra teacher crush a fly and then announce to the class, quote, "If anybody eats this fly then I will give them an 'A' on this test." Zeldag agreed and the teacher wrote the letter "A" on his test, but it wasn't the mark that went into his gradebook.  Zeldag didn't get an A on the test -- he got a F, with a score of nine correct out of 46.  Zeldag said he didn't realize the teacher was only joking.

An Illinois man is now serving a six month jail sentence for contempt of court after a judge asked him to raise his right hand while being sworn in and the guy responded with just one finger -- the middle one.  24-year-old Kane Kellett was at the courthouse facing charges of home invasion and aggravated assault when he decided to make the obscene gesture at the judge.  The six months in jail will seem like a vacation compared to the 30 years, if he's convicted of the home invasion and assault charges.

The only date Vaibhav Bev can get is in court.  The Indian man is suing the cosmetics company Unilever, claiming one of its brands of deodorant did not help him get a girlfriend.  Bev is seeking more than 100 thousand dollars for, quote, "depression and psychological damage" because he used the company's deodorant, but still couldn't lure in any ladies, despite the fact the ad features men fending off scantily-clad women.  Bev is quoted as saying, "I used it for seven years but no girl came to me."

A 17-year-old girl in Somalia proved to be the complete opposite of a cougar when she married a man who is 112 years old.  The man, named Ahmed Mohamed Dhore, has been married five times already, but this union marks the first time he's tied the knot in the last 25 years.  Dhore said, quote, "My wife is 10 times younger than me but we love each other so much and I believe that I can give her the kind of love that not any young man can offer."  He added, quote, "Married life is about love and passion rather than age and beauty."

A spa in Austria believes beer can cure just about any "ale"-ment.  The spa is offering customers the chance to chill out in a pool filled with of beer.  Officials claim the alcohol is good for skin, blood circulation and cuts.  While customers are allowed to sip from the pool, one official said, quote, "These pools really can help some health problems -- but if they don't work for you, you'll probably have drunk enough not to care about it anymore."

A British judge's sentence was to tough for 28-year-old Damien Ankrah, who swallowed his stash of heroin and then refused to go to the bathroom for 16 days, was sent to jail for 52 months.  Ankrah wouldn't hit the head and let officials get their hands on the evidence they needed to bust him.  After 16 days, though, let's just say he couldn't keep his secret anymore and finally relieved himself.  He then confessed to possession with intent to supply.

A one-legged man accused of robbery wasn't on the hop for long.  Police in the Belgian town of Maldegem recently apprehended a man with one leg after one shoe disappeared from a store.  After employees noticed the footwear had gone MIA, they described the suspect to police, who quickly managed to track him down.

A prisoner in Sweden has received 27 hundred dollars in compensation after he got hurt playing ping-pong.  The inmate was playing a game against a fellow prisoner when he banged his pinky on the edge of the table, forcing him to wear a splint for the next 10 weeks.  The prisoner filed a personal injury claim after the mishap.  The country's Legal, Financial and Administrative Services Agency awarded him the money, claiming he suffered pain and injury.

An Iowa mom was shocked when she discovered a strange man in her home and the intruder was himself shocked moments later when she began beating him with a toy plastic bat.  Authorities say the 26-year-old mom walked into her living room to discover a stranger standing over her four-year-old son who was asleep in a chair.  The mom yelled at the man to leave and then grabbed the plastic bat and whacked him numerous times until he ran away.

It's not another image of Mother Teresa in a sweet roll or the Virgin Mary in a grilled cheese sandwich, but a woman in North Carolina believes she sees Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer in a pork chop.  WGHP-TV Fox 8 in Winston-Salem reports Sue Church brought her Rudolph pork chop to the TV station, where some people thought the meat actually looked more like Max, the dog who wears antlers in How the Grinch Stole Christmas.

From our "You Might Be a Redneck If" file comes the story of an Indiana woman who accidentally set fire to her mobile home with fireworks while trying to scare off a raccoon.  The 52-year-old woman told police she lit and tossed eight to ten smoke bomb fireworks under her mobile home to chase away a raccoon.  She dialed 911 after she saw smoke and flames and firefighters arrived and extinguished a small blaze.

The Daily Telegraph in Australia reports more than 600 volunteer firefighters have signed a petition, objecting to the replacement of dark navy blue outfits with bright yellow ones that become see-through when wet.  The women claim the shirts get wet from leaking hoses and even when it rains, and male colleagues can see right through them.  A spokesman admitted the yellow shirts were made with thinner material and promised the next order would be made with thicker material and include pockets over the chest to prevent any see-through issues.

The job market may be tough, but if you're willing to relocate, we're pretty sure you can find work keeping the streets of one Hungarian town safe.  The entire police force quit after all 15 officers pooled their money and won the lottery.  After hitting the 16 million dollar jackpot, the cops turned in their badges, leaving the town without any cops.  Back-up units been summoned until more full-time officers can be recruited.

Does Cesar Lopez smoke marijuana?  The answer is written all over his face.  Police in Pennsylvania arrested the 29-year-old after they found him in a convenience store with a bag of marijuana stuck to his forehead.  Lopez was wearing a baseball hat, but when he raised his head, cops saw the bag smack dab on his head.  Officers removed the bag and cuffed Lopez.

A robber in Arkansas only wants what's his.  Police arrested the man after he lost his wallet during an attempted holdup and then had the nerve to call the victim to ask for the wallet back.  The bandit tried to rob a man at gunpoint in his house before he dropped his wallet while running away.  He later called the victim to request he meet him at a gas station to get the wallet back.  Police showed up at the gas station and arrested the robber.

A stolen joint could send a Michigan woman to the joint.  The 54-year-old woman was arrested after she called cops to report someone stole marijuana from her home.  The woman claimed two men escaped after they ordered her to give them her marijuana plants.  She was booked on charges of manufacturing and delivering marijuana.  The woman says she had the pot for medicinal use, but did not have a medical marijuana card.

An Oklahoma man who was arrested for beating his roommate with a harmonica.  Fifty-two-year-old Decai Liu's roommate was in the bathroom getting set for work when Liu barged in and began pummeling him with the harmonica.  The beating was so bad, the roommate had to go to the hospital to treat the bloody cuts he had all over his face.  When police showed up to arrest Liu, he headbutted one officer.  The roommate still doesn’t know why he was attacked.

The the courts tell you to leave someone along, that includes poking, too.  Shannon Jackson now knows that.  The 36-year-old Tennessee woman was arrested for "poking" someone on Facebook.  When you poke someone on Facebook, no message is delivered, but the person on the receiving end is told they've been poked by someone with an account.  Problem is, the person Jackson poked had a restraining order against her, and was arrested for violating it with the poke

Cops in Dallas are looking for the pudgy man who's been sneaking into people's back yards and dancing around naked.  The same man has been pulling the stunt in the same neighborhood since 2005.  Police say the suspect either dances naked, or if the backyard has a swimming pool, takes a dip naked.  He has even danced naked on top of a back yard air conditioning unit.  Dallas police say they want to catch the man and put a stop to his naked dancing before it escalates into something more serious.

A 27-year-old man in Sweden has learned an important lesson -- never tell a tattoo artist he can ink any design he wants on you during an all-night drinking session.  Joel Stefansson woke up after telling a tattoo artist he could ink anything he wanted and discovered a tattoo of a “Mr. Happy” on his leg.  Stefansson says, "I thought I'd have something discreet and dignified but I got a six inch you know what on my right leg next to my own."  He is now trying to get the tattoo removed.

In an effort to reduce alcohol-related incidents at one of Australia's most popular auto races, authorities have announced a limit to the amount of beer a single fan can bring with them.  It's 24 cans – one case of beer apiece. Fans who prefer beer with a lower alcohol content will be allowed 36 cans a day.  Wine lovers are limited to four liters per day during the racing event.

Police in Alabama say a 37-year-old mother has been charged with endangering the welfare of a child after she let her daughter ride in a cardboard box on top of the family van.  The mom was arrested after police received a call about a woman driving a van down a state highway with a child riding on top.  The woman told officers the box was too large to fit inside the vehicle and she was using her 13-year-old daughter to hold it down and she was safe because the box was secured to the top of the van with hangers.

We should all pay more attention to our elders.  A wannabe bank robber in Pennsylvania left empty-handed when the 78-year-old teller told him to leave.  The man handed teller Helen Roth a plastic bag and a note ordering her to fill the bag with money.  Roth simply looked at the bandit and told him to get out, which is exactly what he did.  He has yet to be caught. 

Police in Oregon arrested a 30-year-old woman for trying to rob a bank after she handed the teller a holdup note the employee couldn't read.  The robber walked into the bank and gave the teller a note that said, quote, "Need 300 dollars or I'll kill you.  I'm serious."  The teller said she couldn't read the handwriting, so the woman backed away to rewrite the note.  While she did that, the teller hit a silent alarm and the bank manager came over.  Police and FBI agents soon showed up and arrested the woman, who was on drugs.

A Texas woman has some pet fish to fry.  The unidentified woman has been accused of frying the pet goldfish she owns with her husband and then eating a few of the creatures.  The man called the police to say the woman took the fish out of his apartment.  It seems the couple had been arguing about jewelry he gave her but later took back.  When cops went to the woman's house, they found four fried goldfish on a plate.  The woman said she had eaten the other three fish.  The couple purchased the fish together.

You may not have to get dressed up when you order take-out, but you do need to get dressed.  A pizza delivery woman recently called police after she brought food to a home four times -- and each time the same man answered the door without wearing anything below his waist.  The woman, who decided not to press charges, was okay with letting cops inform the man he must wear pants from now on when answering his door.

A Massachusetts man was sentenced to 18 months in prison for stealing a hot dog from a stranger sitting under a tree in a park.  Antonio Judd grabbed the hot dog from the stranger in a park after flashing what appeared to be a gun.  According to police reports, Judd devoured the hot dog and spilled mustard all over his shirt.  He was arrested a short time later and his weapon turned out to be a pellet gun.  Authorities say Judd has been to prison at least three times and now he’s going back again.

Cops in Italy pulled over a motorist during a routine traffic stop and found almost an entire zoo -- 17 hundred animals -- crammed into the trunk of his car.  Police in Italy found the man's trunk filled with 216 parakeets, 300 white mice, 150 hamsters, 30 Japanese squirrels, six chameleons and more than one thousand turtles in cages.  Police sent the collection of animals to nearby zoos and launched an investigation into the driver's involvement in animal smuggling.

A man placed 150 lit candles inside waxed bags on a beach in South Carolina while he proposed to his girlfriend.  The couple left the beach after the proposal without extinguishing the candles and later sixty baby sea turtles emerged from their shells.  A local nature expert said turtles instinctively head to the sea after hatching, but the candle lights disoriented them and many ended up circling the candles until crabs ate them, while others headed in the wrong direction towards the dunes.  The couple expressed remorse and said they didn't know about light restrictions.

A New Zealand woman was briefly hospitalized after she mistook a nine-inch long rat for her cat. Lynn Henderson felt an animal jump on her bed in her mobile home and assumed it was her cat.  She discovered otherwise when she reached out to pet it and the rat jumped and latched onto her upper lip.  Henderson's husband turned on the lights and managed to fire one shot from an air rifle at the rat as it ran out the door.  He told the newspaper, quote, "It was about nine inches long, very round and cuddly...well, violent, actually."  His wife suffered a bloody lip and received antibiotics.

Several police detectives in Florida are facing disciplinary action after they were caught playing a Nintendo Wii bowling game while cataloging evidence at a convicted drug dealer's home.  Surveillance video obtained shows sheriff's detectives playing Wii, with one officer jumping with excitement.  Authorities say the officers were members of an anti-drug task force that had raided the home earlier this year.  The drug dealer had already been taken from the premises.

Boston police say an emergency medical technician shot two of his friends during an argument following a night of drinking and then grabbed his medical kit and began administering first aid.  41-year-old Rhys Williams, an EMT, allegedly shot two brothers after he was thrown out of a party.  Police say Williams used his registered handgun to shoot one brother in the chest and the other in the leg.  When cops arrived, Williams was standing over both men with gauze in his hands.  Both men are expected to recover.

Police were called to 91-year-old Robert Thompson's home in Florida, but he wasn't in trouble -- the drunk, naked 26-year-old intruder facing Thompson's gun was.  Thompson told police he jumped out of bed when he heard his dog attacking an intruder and grabbed his handgun to let the stranger know how he felt about home invaders.  Thompson held the intruder at gunpoint outside the house until police arrived and later said he didn't even notice he was standing outdoors completely naked.  The intruder was charged with burglary.

Jonathan Parker has been Facebooked into jail.  Police in West Virginia arrested the 19-year-old man for burglary after he broke into a house and checked his Facebook account -- but forgot to log out.  The incident happened last month.  The homeowner called police after walking into her house to find someone had taken a pair of diamond rings.  She soon noticed Parker's Facebook account was opened on her computer.  Police quickly managed to track him down and arrest him.

You know how construction workers whistle at pretty women who walk by their sites?  Construction workers in Austria recently ran away when a naked blonde woman made a beeline towards them while shouting, quote, "Who wants me?"  One worker said, quote, "We like to chat up girls as they walk past, it's a tradition.  But this woman was too much to handle and we just ran and hid until the police got here."  Despite the lady's best efforts, none of the fellas took her up on her offer.  Police detained her and took her to a doctor for evaluation.

There's a fine line between being a movie buff and total nerd.  Andreas Jankov, has changed his name to Julius Andreas Gimli Arn MacGyver Chewbacca Highlander Elessar-Jankov, to honor his favorite characters from Star Wars, Lord of the Rings, Highlander and MacGyver.  The 30-year-old bus driver, said, quote, "It is a tribute to them for all the hours of pleasure I have had watching them and also reflects the fact that there is a part of every one of those characters which I would like to be like."

The 18-year-old British man -- who has no arms -- recently received a two-year suspended jail sentence for his role in driving a getaway car for a group of thieves who robbed a jewelry store.  After the bandits stole 290 thousand dollars worth of merchandise, they hopped into a car where Smith was waiting to help them escape.  Since he has no arms below the elbows, though, the other guys had to help him change gears.  Smith, who cannot even dress himself, managed to drive for 30 miles before crashing

A man in Kansas was arrested when he fell asleep after he took a family hostage in their home.  Jesse Dimmick led police on a chase that ended when he jumped out of his car and ran into the family's house, where he took everyone inside hostage for a few hours.  He eventually fell asleep and the family managed to sneak out of the house.  Authorities ran into the house and shot Dimmick.  None of his injuries are life-threatening.

Miller time comes before jail time.  Police in Florida say a man arrested for shoplifting in a convenience store demanded he be allowed to finish the beer he stole before cops led him to jail.  The man told officers he had lost his job after 13 years and wanted to enjoy the beer.  When they said he couldn't, he became belligerent.  In addition to shoplifting, the man was also charged with marijuana possession.

Police in New York arrested Joshua Bracci and issued him 56 tickets after driving more than 100 miles per hour.  Cops chased him for 13 minutes, during which time he hit a parked car, backed into a squad car and turned off the lights in his vehicle in an effort to ditch the cops.  The 21-year-old Bracci was finally apprehended when he went down a one-way street.  He faces 56 charges, including reckless endangerment, first-degree aggravated unlicensed operation of a motor vehicle, driving while intoxicated, reckless driving, unlawfully fleeing police, resisting arrest, criminal mischief and leaving the scene of an accident.

An Ohio man was looking for even more booty after he robbed a home.  Police say 20-year-old Stephfon Bennett robbed a house and then returned two hours later to ask the victim out on a date.  Unfortunately for Bennett, the woman recognized him as one of the three men who broke into her house.  She got a relative to call 911 and cops quickly showed up to arrest Bennett.  It's not clear if his accomplices have been caught.

Twenty-four-year-old Anthony Dzik from Minnesota, has been sentenced to five years probation for trying to blackmail his female cousin into sending him nude photos of herself.  Prosecutors claim he fooled his cousin into giving him passwords for her Facebook and MySpace pages.  He then infected her accounts with a virus and also threatened to steal her identity and hack into some of her friends' accounts if she didn't e-mail him naked pictures.

A Florida man has been charged with making false calls to 911, but there was apparently nothing fake about his reason for calling -- he said he was really hungry.  Benjamin Dewer told the officers he was hungry and asked them for a ride to a park.  Officials say when the cops refused Dewer's request, he walked away and dialed 911 twice to say he was hungry and needed a ride.  Cops gave him a ride to the Palm Beach County Jail.

A Swedish man has gone where no man has gone before -- a breast pump.  Ragnar Bengtsson, a 26 year old dad, has begun stimulating his breasts with a pump in a bid to produce milk.  Bengtsson is planning to pump his breasts every three hours from now until the beginning of December in an effort to produce milk.  His efforts are being documented by a Swedish TV station.  Bengtsson says some people think he's sick, but he will not be deterred.  Experts say it may be possible after three or four months for Bengtsson to produce a drop or two of milk.

A Pennsylvania man was sentenced to up to six years in prison for bank robbery -- a crime he says he committed to get away from an overbearing wife.  Prosecutors say 39-year-old Anthony Miller robbed a bank because he wanted to go to jail and get away from his then-wife.  While robbing them e told bank employees to call police and even asked then for updates on when the cops would be showing up.  Miller's wife won't be waiting for him when he gets out of jail, they got divorced.

Police in Florida say they arrested an Alabama man after he walked out on a 188 dollar tab at a Hooters restaurant and then hid under a bed in a motel room.  A Hooters employee called police after the 23-year-old suspect left the restaurant without paying.  Before leaving Hooters, the suspect had told a waitress he was staying at a local Super 8 Motel, which is where police found him a short time later, hiding underneath a bed.  He's charged with retail theft and resisting an officer without violence.

Police in Spain apprehended a burglar who hid 14 hundred dollars in his rear end.  A homeowner came home to find the man in his house.  Several neighbors tried to catch the bandit but he managed to drive away.  Eventually, though, cops tracked him down and conducted a cavity search, during which they discovered the money.

Police in Florida have issued an arrest warrant for a man they say bit part of a doctor's finger off after being denied a prescription.  Authorities say the man went to see Dr. Paul Arnold and became upset about not getting his medication.  Investigators say when Dr. Arnold turned his back, the suspect attacked him and bit off the top of one finger with one bite.  The fingertip was recovered, but it's not known if doctors were able to reattach it.

A 6-foot-7, 250-pound man pleaded not guilty to numerous charges, including an accusation that he rang the doorbells of two homes at 3 a.m. while naked except for a pair of sneakers.  Police say 38-year-old Peter Allen Steele fled in his truck when police arrived on the scene.  He led cops on a seven-mile chase before abandoning his car and fleeing on foot -- still naked.  Cops attempted to subdue Steele with a Taser but were unsuccessful and ended up using two shots from a bean bag gun to bring him down.

A bride in Germany certainly didn't have a fairy tale ending to her wedding day when she was found passed out next to a case of vodka in the back seat of a car.  The 30-year-old bride had to be rescued by police because the BMW she was sleeping in began to heat up in the sun and she was unresponsive to knocks on the car door.  Police say the woman was so drunk, she remained unconscious even after they smashed a car window to get her out.  The bride, who was still wearing her wedding dress, told police she had no idea where her car keys or her husband were. 

A Chinese man and his wife were traveling on a river ferry when he suddenly announced he couldn't take her nagging anymore and jumped into the water.  Crew members saw the man run out of a cabin moments earlier covering his ears and shouting "I can't stand it any longer."  When the crew asked the husband what was wrong, that's when the man shouted, "I need a break" and jumped into the fast-moving river.  A search failed to locate the husband, but police found him on shore later that night.  He told police, quote, "I felt I was dying, but even that's better than my wife's nagging." 

If all else fails blame it on your cat.  A Florida man accused of downloading naughty pictures is pinning the blame on his cat.  Authorities arrested Keith Griffin after investigators found more than one thousand images on his home computer.  Griffin told detectives he was downloading music when his cat jumped on his keyboard when he left the room for a moment.  Griffin claims he found "strange things" on his computer when he returned. 

Prosecutors say 56-year-old Betty Lichtenstein was hired as a nurse at a doctor's office after she identified herself as an RN and claimed to be honored as "Nurse of the Year" in 2008.  Problem is, she never won that award because she’s not even a real nurse!  Intead, prosecutors say Lichtenstein went so far as to spend two thousand dollars to stage a dinner honoring herself as "Nurse of the Year." The state's Medical Fraud Control Board launched an inquiry after a patient complained.  She faces up to five years in prison if convicted.

An environmental group in Brazil (that Jack loves) has launched a new water conservation campaign that encourages people to cut down on toilet flushing by urinating in the shower.  The group SOS Mata Atlantica is running animated TV ads that show people from all walks of life peeing in the shower.  The ads inform viewers that eliminating one flush a day can save the average Brazilian household more than 11 hundred gallons of water a year.  Why is there a picture of Kelly Clarkson attached to this story...she's admitted to peeing in the shower!

A Michigan wife and two of her husband's mistresses are facing felony charges for allegedly plotting to punish him for a love quadrangle gone wrong by gluing his "Mr. Happy" to his stomach with Krazy Glue.  The plot unfolded at a motel when one of Mr. Cheat's lovers talked him into being bound to a bed with sheets.  She instead cut off his underwear and then his wife and the third women cane into the room.  Ziemann then smacked the husband in the face and used Krazy glue on his junk.  OUCH!!!

An 86-year-old Chicago woman was busted for shoplifting for the 61st time when she was caught at a grocery store stuffing anti-wrinkle cream down her pants.  Ella Okro was arrested when cops discovered two packs of anti-wrinkle cream, eight jars of face cream, eleven packs of AA batteries, four jars of instant coffee and five packages of salmon in her pants.  She was booked for felony shoplifting because of her long criminal record.

A veterinarian in England recently found something crazy inside Bertie the Dog - Nine golf balls in his stomach!  Bertie's owners took him to the doctor after they noticed he was not walking properly.  In addition to the golf balls, an x-reay revealed Bertie also had a bullet in his tummy but not becaused he swallowed it but because he was shot.  Bertie, who underwent surgery to remove the bullet and the golf balls, is recovering well.  While Bertie's owners believe he ate the balls while out on walks, they don't know how or when he was shot.

Thirty-four people at a Bank of America call center in Texas went to the hospital after suffering an allergic reaction to perfume someone was wearing.  Three dozen people went to the hospital, including a dozen in ambulances, firefighters and paramedics treated another 110 folks on the scene.  The whole thing began after two people became dizzy when a co-worker put on some perfume.  It's unclear what kind of perfume was responsible for the incident.

Police in South Carolina ticketed 40-year-old Tracy Ellenburg for riding a stolen horse down a street.  Ellenburg slurred her speech, had alcohol on her breath and had trouble standing.  She claimed she was riding the horse to her boyfriend's home and denied being drunk, adding the horse was the one who was blitzed.  Eventually, she confessed to enjoying a six-pack of beer before hopping on the horse.

Oakland police say a man impersonating a police officer tried to pull over a real undercover officer and was arrested.  Police say 21-year-old Antonio Fernandez Martinez of Oakland was arrested after trying to pull over an unmarked police vehicle.  Martinez was driving a Ford Crown Victoria outfitted with flashing lights, a microphone and speakers.  <, st1:City w:st="on">Martinez, a convicted car thief, will have his felony probation revoked and could face a prison term.

Whoever said love hurts clearly knows how one Pennsylvania man feels.  Twenty-two-year-old Corrin Townsend h, as been charged with assault for ripping out her ex-boyfriend's nipple ring.  It's unclear what circumstances led Townsend, who was arraigned, to do what she did. 

Medical researchers in the UK are looking for women to eat chocolate every day for a full year in the name, of science.  Researchers at the University of East Anglia in England want to see if eating chocolate can reduce the risk of heart disease, and they need 40 women to step up and participate.  The majority of the women will have to eat two bars of, quote, "super-strength chocolate" every day.  The rest of the ladies will be given two bars of regular chocolate.  But there is a qualifying catch -- participants must be menopausal but under the age of 75.

A California man has filed a lawsuit against a restaurant, claiming he ordered Fr, ench onion soup and bit into a condom instead of melted cheese.  Zdenek Hodousek is seeking unspecified damages from the Claim Jumper restaurant in Santa Ana and fears he may have contracted a disease.  His attorney is demanding DNA testing on restaurant workers to see if there is a match.  A rep for the restaurant says an internal probe revealed no employee wrongd, oing.

Twenty-nine-year-old police officer Derrick Saunders from Denver is accused of pointing a gun at a McDonald's employee in order to speed up his order.  A worker claims Saunders and another cop were waiting for their order at the drive-thru when Saunders became frustrated and whipped out his pistol.  Saunders, who has been suspended with pay from the force, faces menacing and weapons charges, as well as charges of prohibited use of a weapon, reckless endangerment and disorderly conduct. 

Police arrested 38-year-old Peter Steele from Redwood City for ringing doorbells while naked.  Residents at two homes called police around 3 a.m. to report a guy in his birthday suit had rung their bells.  An officer summoned to the area spotted a truck and chased it for seven miles after the driver refused to pull over.  Once cops managed to stop the motorist, he ran out of his car and tried to escape before officers managed to take him into custody.

Police in Minnesota are looking for a 31-year-old man , with a fetish for slashing rubber balls.  The man was caught on surveillance camera breaking into a health club and cutting up a bunch of exercise balls.  According to a criminal complaint, the man was convicted in 2005 of breaking into another gym and going all Freddy Krueger on about 70 exercise balls.  According to the complaint, he pleaded guilty and claimed he chopped up another 40 balls at two other clubs.  So why did he do it?  He told police slashing the balls satisfied a sexual urge.

A Toronto man was arrested after he brought his five children with him to a drug deal with an undercover cop.  The father, who had agreed to meet the officer at a mall, showed up with his two-year-old, 10-year-old, 11-year-old and two teenagers.  After the cop bought the drugs, he followed the father back to his car, where he found the 10- and 11-year-olds sitting inside with a stash of cocaine.  It's unclear who took custody of the children.

A day after being arrested for stealing a car from a woman, 17-year-old John Wetherell showed up at the victim's office to ask if he could reclaim some personal item, s he'd accidentally left in the back seat.  Wetherell went to where the 23-year-old woman works, to ask if he could retrieve his things from the vehicle he stole out of the parking lot the day before.  The woman called police and let Wetherell take his belongings after officers arrived on the scene.

A woman named Annemarie Dooling tweeted while she was in a bank being held up.  The trackball on her Blackberry was broken and she couldn't call for help, so the 26-year-old Dooling decided to keep her followers posted about what was going on by updating her Twitter.  She and other customers were kept in the bank for several hours, long after the bandit escaped with 500 dollar, s.  When all was said and tweeted, she picked up 200 followers, increasing her total to more than 21 hundred.  The robber wasn't caught.

Parents of the year!  Authorities have declined to charge an 11-year-old girl who helped a New York couple break into homes by squeezing through windows and crawling through doggie doors in order to unlock the houses they robbed.  It's unclear how many times 40-year-old Gregory Frank and 30-year-old Tara Morelli used the girl, who was 10 when the crime spree started.  Frank and Morelli were arraigned on nearly two dozen charges.

Sex and the suburbs has come to Pennsylvania.  Michael Buck was so annoyed at kids who were playing near the cul-de-sac at his suburban Philadelphia home he decided to keep them away by blasting a “Baking Cookies” movie.  , ;The audio was so loud residents a block-and-a-half away complained to police they could hear the noises.  Buck faces a felony obscenity charge and two misdemeanors for his actions.

A thief in Canada wants everyone to see all the places on the body where fast food can pack on the pounds.  A naked man in Vancouver ran past a Wendy's drive-thru and grabbed a bag of french fries that an employee was handing to a customer sitting in his car.  The suspect, believe, d to be in his 20s, then hopped into a waiting van, which drove away.  Police said neither the employee nor the customer could provide a good description of the thief, other than the fact he was in the buff. 

Never have cops gotten such a hot tip about a drug deal. Police in New Jersey recently arrested two men after one of them accidentally sent a text message to an officer saying he wanted to buy marijuana.  Christopher Pew was off-duty when he got a message on his personal cell phone from a man interested in buying pot.  Pew didn't know if it was a joke, but he wrote back, saying he wou, ld meet the man at a nearby shopping plaza.  Police later arrested the man.

Like many people, Paul Bruneau likes to take a nap after a big, hearty meal.  Police in Maine arrested Bruneau when they found him sleeping on a bench after he broke into a restaurant and ate nearly 11 prepared lobsters.  Bruneau, who was already out of custody on bail, broke into the Lobster Company and helped himself to the meal, which he enjoyed with some white wine he took from the restaurant.  He, also left a refrigerator door open, which meant some one thousand dollars worth of spoiled food had to be thrown out.

There's an old adage that says if you don't like noise, don't live in New York City, but the neighbors of one Manhattan rooftop bar are so tired of the racket next door they've resorted to hanging their dirty underwear outside to remind patrons that people are trying to live and sleep there.  The bar is less than three feet from the windows of several residents and even though the bar's outside patio closes at 8 p.m., the crowd noise indoors continues.  Residents strung up soiled panties, bras and other unmentionables on a clothesline in clear sight of the bar.

A British bride-to-be has canceled her wedding after learning her fiancé is actually a porn star. 27-year-old Haylie Hocking discovered fiancé Jason Brake's secret when a friend organizing her bachelorette party looked online for a male stripper and spotted Brake with a woman in a porn movie.  She canceled the wedding because, quote, "There was no way I could marry a porn star, he told me that he was a personal trainer.”  As for his side of the story, Brake tells the newspaper he's sorry and wishes Hocking would understand he was only acting. 

Four women dined and dashed after eating breakfast at an IHOP in Detroit, but they returned to the scene of the dine when they jumped into a car to get away and accidentally crashed through the restaurant wall.  The young women ran from IHOP with their server chasing after them.  Authorities say one of the woman lost control of the car they jumped into and crashed the vehicle into the restaurant.  No one was injured and the driver was ticketed.  The father of the driver showed up at the restaurant and paid the tab.

An umpire at a high school baseball game in Iowa didn't just say that to players during a game. Umpire Don Briggs ejected all the fans at the game after they got on his case following a close play in the fifth inning.  Briggs said none of the players gave him any grief, but the fans -- more than a hundred altogether -- really let him have it.  After he tossed the crowd, he called police for help.  The game wound up being delayed 40 minutes before resuming.

Thomas Williams' love of women's underwear has landed him in the slammer.  , An Alliance, Ohio judge sentenced the 25-year-old man to nine years in prison for stealing undies from more than 20 women.  Williams, who took the unmentionables as far back as 2006 by breaking into homes, pleaded guilty to 11 different felonies related to the crimes.  Williams is now in counseling and will be eligible for probation in 2013.

Twenty-eight-year-old Kayte Taylor from Santa Rosa knocked down a guy when she threw a 12-pack of Miller Lite at him.  , Taylor and her friends walked into a store to buy beer when a man swiped her wallet.  While he was trying to escape on his bike, Taylor flung the beer at him.  He fell down and some other women jumped on him to make sure he couldn't get away. They finally agreed to let him get up but wouldn't give him back his bike.

Cops in Pennsylvania didn't have to go far to fight crime.  Authorities arrested a drunk driver after he sped in a police station parking lot and then parked in-between a pair of squad cars so he could take a nap.  An officer watched the 37-year-old man turn off his headlights, move his seat back and then catch some shuteye.  When the cop walked over to the car, he saw an empty bottle of vodka inside, as well as a pipe with marijuana in it.  The man was arrested.

Jessica Jackson is all about multi-tasking. Police in Port Edwards, Wisconsin arrested the 29-year woman for talking on a cell phone while driving...while drunk...while not wearing pants. Jackson was drying her pants by hanging them out of the window when she crossed onto the other side of the road and crashed into a ditch.  After she was treated and released from the hospital she was transported to jail.

A man in Florida set three racks of clothing in a Walmart men's department on fire after the store wouldn't let him make a return.  No one was injured when the man started the blaze, but several thousand dollars worth of merchandize was destroyed.  The store also sustained severe damage.  Employees said after the fire broke out, they noticed a man running out of the store.  , ;Authorities later arrested 41-year-old Phillip Wright.

A would-be robber made a bad decision this week.  25-year-old Eddys Marte approached 53-year-old Robert Dwyer with a gun and demanded money. Dwyer, a federal Justice Department firearms instructor trained in how to disarm people, grabbed the gun and fought off Marte. Bystanders h, elped subdue the suspect and hold him for police.  Dwyer says he fought the robber because he was upset the guy was bringing crime to his neighborhood.  Marte has been charged with attempted robbery.

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In Daytona Beach, Florida, two suspected hold-up men were nabbed shortly after a bank robbery when their getaway car ran out of gas a few blocks from the scene of the crime.  The suspects abandoned the vehicle and separated, with one paying a passerby 50 bucks to drive him home and the other calling a friend to pick him up and bring him back to the getaway car. Cops arrested the one suspect when he returned to the car and his accomplice was taken into , custody a short time later.

Today's dumb meth dealer story comes from Arkansas.  Police believe Roy Achterberg placed a metal ladder against a power line pole to try to siphon electricity with a pair of jumper cables.  He was shocked and fell 30 feet to the ground, breaking his back, neck and pelvis.  Police discovered a meth lab in his home when they responded to a 911 call.

Egyptian authorities say a 25-year-old man heated up a knife and sliced off his own “Mr. Happy” to spite his family after he was denied permission to marry a girl from a lower class.  Officials say the man is from a prominent family and had been petitioning his father for the past two years to marry the girl to no avail.  The injured man was rushed to a hospital, but doctors were unable to reattach the organ.

A man driving a hearse for a funeral, home in the city of Bogota did not bring a body to a cemetery because he stopped off to get a beer. According to the Latin American Herald Tribune, the driver enjoyed a tall, cold one last Sunday while Tito Vasquez's family and friends waited at the cemetery for several hours so they could say their farewells to him.  Vasquez's body was found a few hours later in a hotel parking lot. There's no word whether the driver will face any disciplinary action.

A woman identified as Kira V. tied a bunch, of firecrackers to her boyfriend's “Mr. Happy” and set them off when she found out he planned to leave her.  The 33-year-old victim, Alik D., had lived with her for two years, but once she brought up the subject of marriage, he told her no way and said he would rather go back to his ex-wife.  Alik decided to move out, but he agreed to have one final meal with Kira.  After they chowed down, Alik fell asleep, she attached the firecrackers to his manhood and set them off.  He is reported to be in critical condition. 

Meet the master of disguise.  Police in Nebraska are looking for a man who stole cigarettes from a convenience store while wearing a Bud Light beer carton over his head.  Police say the man, who wore a carton that could hold a dozen beers, skipped out of the Kwik Shop convenience store with nine packs of cigarettes.  Authorities say the man, who is still at-large, had something wrapped in his hands, but never actually showed a weapon.

Sixty-six-year-old Lian Jiansheng pushed a man off a bridge after the man held up traffic for five hours while he th, reatened to kill himself by jumping. Lian broke through the police tape and shoved Chen Fuchao off the bridge.  Chen, who was contemplating suicide because he's nearly 300 thousand dollars in debt, managed to fall onto an air cushion that had been set up underneath him.  While he went to the hospital to treat wrist and back injuries, police detained Lian who said, quote, "I pushed him off because jumpers like Chen are very selfish."

Somebody is monkeying around in Wisconsin.,  A man dressed in an ape costume has been trying to steal banana displays from area gas stations.  Authorities say the man was spotted attempting to take displays from two different stations.  Police also say they've received numerous calls from people claiming to have seen the man walking around town.

She may be 78, but a Washington woman still has some fight in her.  The woman was charged with assault for beating her 84-year-old husband because she thought he cheated on her -- 35 years ago.  Prosecutors say she hit her hubby with a bowl, a pipe and a carpet sweeper. The man was left with a broken pelvis and wrist, as well as fractured ribs.  Grandma also admitted that she kicked her husband three times in the groin over the last six months because she suspected he had fooled around behind her back.

A 17-year-old boy in North Carolina who tried to rob a store with a banana ate it before police arrived to arrest him.  John Szwalla walked into an Internet cafe and held the banana under his shirt so it looked like he was armed with a gun.  He demanded money, but the owner, along with a customer, managed to jump on Szwalla and hold him down until police came.  While they all waited for the cops, Szwalla decided to chow down the banana he used as a weapon.  Once officers did arrive, they took pictures of the banana peel and joked about charging Szwalla with destroying evidence.

Two seasonal concession employees at Yellowstone National Park have been fired for urinating into the famous Old Faithful geyser.  Officials learned of the incident after someone watching a webcam aimed at the tourist attraction saw six employees walking on the geyser and two of them peeing into it.  The geyser is famous for erupting water and steam but it was not active at the moment the men decided to relieve themselves.  One of the men was placed on probation for three years, fined 750 dollars and banned from Yellowstone for two years.  The second man's case has not yet been resolved.

Authorities say a high-speed police chase of a drug dealer came to an end in Indiana when the suspect pulled into a Taco Bell parking lot to get a burrito before going to jail.  The suspect, 36-year-old Jermaine Cooper, told officers after the chase ended that he knew he would be "going to go to jail for a while" and wanted to get one last burrito.  Police say Cooper didn't get the burrito, but he was charged with four counts of dealing cocaine and resisting arrest by fleeing.

A man in China has just discovered his 44-year-old wife of the past three years is actually a guy. The husband unknowingly married a transvestite three years ago and never realized she was a he. The husband said, "I can't believe I didn't know.  But we never had sex.  I just wanted someone to take care of me."  The husband discovered his wife's true gender after she fled their home following an argument and was detained by police and strip-searched.  A judge ordered the wife released after getting a short haircut.

A German man dressed up like a old lady and made off with more than 15 thousand dollars during a recent bank robbery in Germany.  The man shuffled into the bank wearing a head scarf, thick glasses and a woman's long coat.  A cashier watched a little old lady walk up to her teller window and suddenly whip out a gun and announce in a deep male voice that it was a robbery and he wanted all the cash.  More than 100 police officers combed the area immediately after the robbery but failed to find the suspect.  Police did detain five real-life old ladies as suspects before letting them go.

James Kimondo is taking action because he can't get any.  The Kenyan man is suing G10, a coalition of women's support groups that called for a nationwide sex boycott as a way of spurring the country's male leaders into fixing the nation's political problems.  Kimondo said, quote, "Since the women called for the sex boycott, my wife has denied me.  This has caused me anxiety and sleepless nights."  He added, quote, "I have been suffering mental anguish, stress, backaches, lack of concentration." 

A man in Ohio looking for a job just couldn't wait for his employee discount. Police arrested 49-year-old Stanley Wright for stealing clothing from a store where he had just filled out an application.  Wright placed 500 dollars worth of T-shirts and pants under his clothing before going to the counter to fill out a job app.  After filling it out, complete with real name and address Wright set off the alarm when he walked out of the store.  When police showed up at his home to arrest him, they found him ironing a pair of pants he had stolen. 

Crystal Wiski has a lot to say.  The teenager from Sacramento recently sent and received 303,000 text messages in one month.  That comes out to roughly 10 thousand texts a day, 421 texts an hour, seven texts a minute.  Fortunately, she has an unlimited texting plan.  Crystal set the record with the iPhone her mother bought for her, who doesn't have a problem with her texting obsession.  She says Crystal gets straight As and holds down a full-time job.

Chuck Norris is now a Croatian crime fighter.  Workers at a bakery in Croati, a fed up with robberies, decided to put a life-sized photo of Chuck in the window.  There hasn't been a robbery in over a month!  One employee said, quote, "Everyone around here has seen his films and he's quite popular, perhaps even among criminals, so they've decided to leave us alone."  She added, "Customers really believe he is sitting in our storeroom in the back ready to pounce on any burglars. They ask for his autograph." 

A 40-year-old Oregon man attacked police officers because he was upset no one would accept a collect call from him.  Officers were booking Lande on a harassment charge when he began to groan about the calls.  He seemed to be calm before he ran up to a female officer, pulled her hair and hit her several times in the head and face.  Another officer suffered broken fingers. Cops finally calmed Lande down by shooting him with a Taser.

A 31-year-old woman named Hajnal Ban who serves on the city council in Australia recently admitted she underwent a procedure to stretch her legs three inches in order to become, taller so she would be taken more seriously as a politician.  Ban went to a clinic in Russia where doctors broke her legs and stretched them one millimeter every day for nine months, which helped her grow to a total of five feet four inches.  The whole process set her back 28 thousand dollars.  Ban had the surgery eight years ago, but only revealed the truth after the media got wind of it.

An Alabama man's decision to sleep with his gun turned out to be a painful one.  The Tuscaloosa News reports the 24-year-old man shot himself in the shoulder when the .40-caliber pistol he was sleeping with accidentally went off.  Police said the wound was not life-threatening and ruled the shooting an accident.

Police in Quartz Hill, California are looking for two muggers who came out on the losing side of an encounter with a 17-year-old girl with a marching band baton.  The gi, rl -- a member of her high school marching band was walking to school when two men came up from behind and grabbed her jacket and demanded money.  The girl responded by punching one man in the nose, kicking the other in the groin and beating both of them with her baton. Deputies say the muggers fled the scene, one of them holding his bloodied nose and the other limping in pain.

People have lost jobs because of the things they've posted on Facebook, but one man from Italy, lost his bride-to-be after posting a photo of him fondling another woman's naked breasts days before his wedding.   The angry fiancée dumped the guy and then proceeded to post hundreds of posters of him throughout the streets of Rome.  Above the guy's photo, his ex wrote, quote, "Than, k goodness there's Facebook.  At least I've discovered you're a traitor pig before the wedding.  Signed, your former betrothed bride and the 548 guests of our wedding."

A woman was fired from her insurance job in Switzerland after she told her boss she had to stay home because she couldn't work in front of a computer, but was later discovered updating her Facebook page.  The woman told her boss she needed to stay home and lie in the dark because of a migraine.  The company informed her she was fired, not because she was on Facebook at home, she was dismissed because of a, quote, "abuse of trust., "  The woman accused the company of spying and entrapment by sending a mysterious friend request to her Facebook page.

One Chicago alderman is less than thrilled about the new enterprise about to debut in his neighborhood -- a hot dog stand that only hires former convicts.  Owner Jim Andrews says he named his hot dog stand "Felony Franks" and added such menu items "burglar beef" and "chain gang chili dog" to try and erase some the stigma that being a former convict carries. Alderman Bob Fioretti says his district has major crime problems and the hot dog stand is in bad taste. Fioretti doesn't like the stand or its s, logans: "Food so good, it's criminal," and "Home of the misdemeanor wiener."

Keith Green and Christine England had a marriage right out of a movie. They recently tied the knot and decided to dress up as the characters from the Shrek -- green makeup and all.  The 44-year-old groom went as Shrek, while his 40-year-old bride as Fiona. The 100 guests also dressed up.  The bride said, quote, "Every girl wants a fairy tale wedding and I got one -- with a bit of a twist. It was a real laugh.  The idea just came to me. I knew that we woul, d g, o as them because Keith looks just like Shrek."  

That's good advice when it comes to drugs and cops who want to search your car when you're in possession of pot.  Officers in Maine arrested 51-year-old James Whittemore after they found more than a pound of marijuana in his trunk when he gave them permission to search his car during a traffic stop -- even though he could've refused.  , ;An offi, cer with the state police said Whittemore would've been sent on his way had he just refused to let cops search his ca, r since they had no probable cause.

A pregnant woman in North Carolina was talked out of robbing a bank.  The woman tried to rob a bank, but left with no money after she got a cell phone call.  Authorities say the woman, who was carrying a gun, walked into Carter Bank and Trust and demanded cash.  Her cell phone rang, though, so she picked it up, star, te, d having a conversation and left the bank empty-handed. She has yet to be found.

Thirty-one-year-old Sandrina Purdum from New York, is suing her husband's ex-boss, claiming the woman ruined their wedding when she announced she was having a fling with her new husband.  Sandrina claims hubby's former boss Jennifer Angevine said during the ceremony, quote, "Me and Harry were good together.  You had to ruin everything by marrying him.  You [bleeped] everything up."  Sandrina also says Ang, evine threw a drink at another guest and grew so out of control all the guests had to leave the reception.  Sandrina says she spent her wedding night at her parents' house, while Harry stayed with his best man.

Jumping off a bridge is never a good idea, especially if you don't mean to do it. &nb, sp;Police in Minnesota say a man is in stable condition after he accidentally fell off a bridge in the wee hours of the morning.  The 23-year-old man, who had been drinking, was riding in a car when he told the driver to pull into the bridge's emergency lane so he could step out and relieve himself.  The man climbed to the ledge and pretended to fall as a joke before he actually fell about 30 feet below into a marshy area around the Minnesota River.  Rescue crews were summoned to pull the man out of the water.

Police say 18-year-old Catheline Colon stabbed 19-year-old boyfriend Shawn Andrews after they got into an argument over a Pop-Tart. Colon and Andrews had lived with each other for about three months, but Colon recently moved out.  She returned to Andrews' place to pick up some belongings she left behind and tried to take a Pop-Tart, but andrews told her s she couldn't.  Police say Andrews pushed Colon who responded by stabbing him in the chest. Colon was charged with battery with a deadly weapon, while Andrews went to the hospital.

Playing football is almost as dangerous as following it.  Police in Washington, D.C. say a man was punched in the face after he grabbed a Dallas Cowboys flag from a car and threw it on the ground while crossing the street.  By the time the man reached the other side of the street, someone who had been sitting in the car jumped out and slugged the man in the face before driving away.  The victim was treated for bruises.  Authorities believe the incident could've been triggered by a fan who dislikes the Cowboys.

Bras don't just lift and separate, they can also save a life.  Police in Brazil say a female bus passenger was shot in the left side of the chest during a robbery, but avoided a fatal injury thanks to the 70 dollars worth of bills she had stuffed in her bra.  The bullet did penetrate her left breast, but the wad of cash slowed it down enough to prevent it from entering her heart. Doctors removed the bullet and the woman was released from the hospital.

A Russian man is going green.  Doctors in the country's Urals region recently, found a two-inch tall tree growing in a man's lung.  Surgeons discovered the spruce in 28-year-old Artyom Sidorkin while he underwent surgery to find out why he was coughing up blood and experiencing chest pains.  Doctors removed the tree, which they said was making contact with Sidorkin's capillaries, causing the pain he had been feeling.  Doctors think Sidorkin may have inhaled a seed, which sprouted in his lung.

Alex Holmes robbed a Dunkin' Donuts in Illinois and then returned the next day to give back all the money, along with a note of apology.  Holmes approached a cashier with a BB gun and made off with 167 dollars at 3 AM.  He then ran away, but came about 24 hours later with the money he took.  The same employee was on duty, so Holmes tried to apologize and hug her to show how badly he felt, but the clerk doesn't speak good English and rejected his offer to make amends out of fear he might try to rob her again.  Holmes then left on a bike, though cops quickly caught up.

A man in Russia survived not one, but two plunges out of a fifth floor apartment after consuming three bottles of vodka.  22-year-old Alexei Roskov doesn't remember how he fell the first time, but he survived with barely a scratch and returned to his apartment to be met by his wife, chewin, g him out.  Roskov says he jumped out a window on purpose the second time because he couldn't take his wife's nagging.  He says, quote, "When I came back up and I heard my wife screaming angrily at me, I thought it was best if I left the room again -- out the window."  He only suffered minor cuts and bruises from the second plunge.

A 69-year-old German woman isn't helping the stereotype that senior citizens can't, drive. The Berlin woman was recently involved in three accidents in under one hour.  The first accident occurred when the woman hit three vehicles while leaving a supermarket parking lot.  Her second crash took place when she accidentally hit the gas pedal and smashed into a house.  After that incident, she was taken to the hospital by an ambulance, which was hit by a truck while en route.  She only suffered minor injuries.

Thirty-five-year-old Sarah Hannon recently woke up in the middle of a flight to find her boyfriend go, ing at it with another woman.  When Hannon fell asleep after having a few cocktails, her 36-year-old boyfriend, Daniel Melia, began canoodling with another passenger, 29-year-old Clare Irby.  Irby, who began doing some naughty things under a blanket, was ordered by flight attendants to stop, at which point Hannon woke up, discovered what was happening and started screaming.  Police boarded the plane after it landed and arrested all three.  Hannon was charged with being drunk on an aircraft, while Melia and Irby were charged with gross indecency.

GIRLFIGHT!  A wake is mourning time, not Miller time.  A woman triggered a brawl at a wake in Arkansas when she arrived at a church wake with a can of beer.  Fifty-two-year-old Anna Sindelar of Texas, refused to leave when she showed up with the beer, and allegedly scratched a man when she grabbed his face and made him bleed. ,  The man's mother then defended her son by slapping Sindelar a, nd kicking another woman in the chest.  Police arrested Sindelar and the man's mother.  It's unclear if Sindelar knew the deceased.

We're not sure if it was a gathering of Star Wars fans or not, but three Minnesota teens are facing criminal charges in the shooting of four guests at a party during an argument over a lack of women.  The party inside a mobile home required an entry fee, and the three accused teens got into an argument with others when they noticed a lack of women and demanded a refund.  One of the teens is charged with assault for firing a gun into the side of the trailer, striking the victims.  The two others , are charged with helping con, ceal the weapon as they drove away.

A Florida woman dialed 911 for help getting out of a locked car and was successful after she followed the operator's instructions on how to open the door.&, nbsp; The Orlando Sentinel reports the woman called saying she was locked inside her , car in a store parking lot.  The woman told the 911 operator, quote, "My car will not start. I'm locked inside my car.  Nothing electrical works, it's getting very hot in here, and I'm not feeling well."  The operator then asked the woman to manually pull up the lock on the door.

P, olice in Washington are looking for the Father of the Year candidate who decided to rob a convenience store at gunpoint around 3 a.m. with his nine-year-old daughter standing by his side.  The robber and his daughter walked into the store and the little girl stood by as her dad pulled a gun on a clerk and demanded money from the cash register.  The clerk handed over less than 200 dollars and the thief fled with the little girl.

Many husbands simply put up with meddling mothers-in-law, but one guy in Bosnia decided to both take action and take aim against his with an anti-tank missile.  The man launched a rocket attack against his mother-in-law's house because he was tired of her nagging and blamed her for his failed marriage. Authorities say when she survived the rocket attack with barely a scratch, the son-in-law tried to kill her with a machine gun, but failed at that as well.  A court found him guilty of attempted murder and now he's in prison.

Cops in Maine had no problem tracki, ng down the woman who allegedly robbed a variety store, she walked across the street afterwards and entered a pizza shop.  Investigators tell WLBZ-TV 48-year-old Mary Gorsuch robbed the variety store of several hundred dollars after threatening to blow the clerk's head off, and then walked to the pizza shop.  Police found her waiting for a pepperoni pizza when they arrived and placed her under arrest.  Authorities say she is now on federal probation for armed robbery.

Police in Florida arrested 26-year-old Ryan Smith after he told cops he was moving 17 pot plants into his truck in order to protect them from burglars who broke into his house the night before.  Officers stopped Smith after they got a strong whiff of marijuana from the bed of the truck.  They searched the vehicle and found the plants hidden under a cover.  That's when Smith revealed his home had been hit and he wanted to make sure his plant, s were safe in case someone robbed him again.